A Long Time Ago I fell……

A long time ago I fell…

Once, I gave love to another

I thought true love was the simple act of giving, of all myself
was making a commitment and persevering, no matter the cost
was saying “Yes” when everyone else said “No”
was putting myself in harms way regardless of the risk

…I stayed because I idealized romantic love

Once, I gave love to another

But the pain was not love
the conflicts were not love
the jealousy was not love
the tears were not love

…I stayed because I thought I these were a part of true love

Once, I gave love to another

But I didn’t love myself… not enough
not enough to say “No”
not enough to quit
not enough to give up

…I stayed because leaving would have been failure

Then, I gave love to myself

I took the time to understand myself
my fears
my passions
my desires

…and the fog lifted

Then, I gave love to myself

I took the time to heal
to grow strong
to believe again
to be true to myself

…and the light came on again

Then, I gave love to myself

And understood that giving was not enough
that persevering was not enough
that suffering was not enough
that always saying “Yes” was not enough

…and I left the pain, conflict, jealousy and tears behind

Now, I give love

And I understand in my mind
what is real
what is possible
what the future brings

…and I can give without regrets

Now, I give love

And I feel with my heart
with full understanding
with full compassion
with full support

…and I can give without expectations

Now, I give love

And I know in my soul
how to move mountains
how to breathe in life
how to change the world

…and I can give endlessly

And now, I can truly fall…

~Shannon Soulshine

 

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